Memoirs of a Princess #2

Addy hasn’t been feeling well lately.  Not that she’s been acting sick, but a momma always knows.  Especially when momma is cleaning up messes left around the house.  I can’t even be mad.  She never uses the bathroom in the house, unless…well, she has no other choice.

Not that I’m trying to gross you out, it just reminds me of the one and only time I got mad at her for going to the bathroom in the house:  the time she ate a jar of Vaseline.  A JAR.  A LARGE JAR.  A LARGE JAR OF VASELINE.

Needless to say (but I’m saying it anyway): it was not pretty.  In fact, it was not pretty for about 2 weeks.

Being a labrador parent, you know that they eat everything.  EVERYTHING.  And I think (especially after watching Marley & Me) that insofar as things that Addy eats, I’ve been rather lucky.  After growing out of her puppy phase she rarely eats anything non-food based.  Not that she hasn’t had her share of gastro-adventures, including the aforementioned jar of Vaseline.

I was my fault for leaving the jar on the coffee table.  In my defense, I never dreamed that she’d even be interested in the jar, let alone eat the whole damn thing.  But she did.  And apparently enjoyed every.single.lick.  The problem–in case you were unaware–with eating Vaseline is that it is greasy.  Consequently, digestion does not hinder the oiliness after it’s made its way down and out the digestive track.  The other problem is that labradors have thick coats that seem to magically attract and trap oily things.

FOR TWO LONG WEEKS, Addy would requiring bathing after every bathroom break.  You would think that not being overly fond of baths would help reinforce that eating a jar of Vaseline is not desirable.  However, the only time it would register with Addy that eating Vaseline wasn’t good is when she wasn’t allowed on the couch or bed or chair or any of her usual favorite sleeping spots.

Poor, poor Princess Pupcicle!

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